“Just Ask!”

Today, I went to the dentist’s office because I got a bill in the mail saying I owed $110 for my cleaning. The people at the office told me to call their accounting department, but I firmly said that I really needed to take care of this right now, and that I had to go to work. So they called the accounting department for me, and just as I’d suspected, they’d charged me in error.

Many blog posts have been written about the concept of “Just Ask!” The theory is that if you just ask, the worst thing that can happen is that they say no.

Here’s the weird thing, though. Anytime I try to use this technique and end up getting my way, I start to feel terribly guilty.

Take today, for example. I knew the dentist made a mistake. I almost just paid the damn bill anyway, since I almost don’t feel terrified by going there and they did a great job on my cracked filling last year. However, 26 straight days of work has me feeling a little bitter about life in general. So I went there. I wasn’t rude or bitchy. (Maybe a little whiny.)

Still, I feel bad that I got my way.

I guess this has to do with being raised in a very traditional house. We were always taught to be nice, to not ask for too much, and to be sweet when at all possible. In my messed-up brain, I think that getting my way makes me a bad person.

Another possible explanation is the whole Askers vs. Guessers dichotomy. I am most definitely a guesser, so asking makes me feel awkward.

How about you? Do you ever feel slightly guilty when you get your way, or do you relish those little moments of victory?

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4 Responses

  1. I sure do! It’s odd. And I often feel almost guilty after getting my way after an argument with someone, you know?

  2. I’m def a guesser and just pay anything that pops up in my account or bill because I’m gullible enough to think everyone is right and knows what they are doing. I’m changing that now as I’m watching my spending more closely so hopefully I can save myself from paying things I really didn’t spend on.

  3. I get pretty indignant if I think there’s some injustice being done even on something minor as getting a rebate that was promised, so that indignation overtakes any sense of guilt. Plus, as you get older, and have more experience with billing mistakes etc.., you learn to get over the guilt pretty quickly.

  4. I dont think you should feel guilty – people make mistakes, and if no one tells them, how are they supposed to correct them. Had it not gotten corrected, would you be upset with them for overcharging you next time you went to the office?

    When that happens to me, I just try to remind myself that I make mistakes as well and shouldnt be rude to them, but that I should make sure things are done right. I’d rather keep the $110 than just let them have it.

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