You’re Not Supposed to Spend on That!

You guys, I really want plastic surgery.  I look in the mirror, and I don’t like what I see.

More after the jump…

OK, so if you’ve come this far, you haven’t decided to unsubscribe from my blog and you’re thinking I probably want butt implants or something so I can look like Kim Kardashian.

Actually, the kind of surgery I ponder most is a breast reduction.

I went through puberty really early.  I had C-cup breasts by 5th grade, and they kept growing.  When I was that age, they didn’t teach sex ed until at least middle school!  I was very confused and always thought I was getting really fat – I didn’t understand why I couldn’t wear the same shirts as my sisters.  I didn’t understand why my mom wouldn’t let me get the cute sundress for 6th grade graduation.  Girls would yell, “Silicone!” and giggling behind their hands.  I was sort of sheltered, so I didn’t really know what they were talking about. (I was really sheltered, OK?  My parent were pretty religious, and my mom never sat me down to talk about My Changing Body, even though that would have been really effing helpful. Pobably also didn’t help that my sisters were both late bloomers, so I went through it alone.)  I finally got the “Silicone!” joke as a freshman in college.  I had a flashback in calculus class, and suddenly understood that the joke I had laughed at was about me.

I feel like my figure has held me back in terms of professional respect.  I had coworkers who thought it was totally normal to comment on them.  Males and females (females were actually worse, and there was one who talked about my boobs to people I hadn’t even met. Eeesh!). Yes, really.

I’ve had consistent back pain since high school.  I wear 2 sports bras when I run, and it’s still uncomfortable.  I can’t wear sundresses.  I have one bathing suit that I bought 5 years ago – just before Victoria’s Secret stopped carrying my size.  Honest to God, there are even some yoga poses I can’t do because of the mass of flesh sitting on my chest!

I know some of you are probably thinking, “Oh, and I bet your diamond tiara is too heavy and your bejeweled Louboutins are pinching your toes. STFU with your middle-class issues!”  Maybe you wish you had my problem.

It’s just that they don’t fit the way I think about myself.  Every time I look in the mirror, I feel surprised that they’re there.  My whole life, I’ve felt wrong, awkwardly stuffed into the wrong body.  This might also explain my social anxiety issues.

I’ve already decided that I’ll be getting a breast reduction – probably sometime after I have kids.  I know plastic surgery is supposedly one of the signs of the complete degradation of our society.  I don’t care.

Maybe people will think it’s OK, especially since I’m doing the opposite of that trashy “other” plastic surgery.  After all, there aren’t any porn stars or strippers looking for smaller breasts. I’m not conforming to society’s ideal standard of beauty, just my own.  However, the body dysmorphia is the same as what drove Heidi Montag to her surgery buffet.  I’m guilty of judgement, too; although I may indulge my desire for a breast reduction, I will probably never get a nose job, even though I think it would make my face look much better.

What do you think?  Do you think spending that amount of money on something cosmetic is insane?  Do you think that I should learn to love and accept my body, with all of its flaws?  Did you already unsubscribed and aren’t even reading this right now?


24 Responses

  1. If it interferes with your life, and you can afford it, why wouldn’t you? It sounds like it’s worth the cost and physical stress of surgery. I can’t profess to understand – I have the opposite problem and will NEVER need reduction, lol, but my large chested friends have a lot of discomfort and other issues related directly to that.

  2. I don’t see a problem with it. It’s more than just a cosmetic issue – you have back pain, it’s interfering with your life.

    I’m like eemusings… with the opposite problem. 😉 If breast enlargement was safer and less painful, hell, I’d do it.

  3. I think it’s perfectly acceptable for you to want this! It’s not just cosmetic surgery either, it would actually benefit you physically by reducing the strain on your back.

    Your breasts are a problem for you and they don’t suit you. You have the opportunity to fix the problem with a reasonable outcome.

    People always get up in arms about plastic surgery, but they forget about the people who really need it, the people whose lives would be dramatically improved by a minor tweak.

    I personally got laser eye surgery (counts as cosmetic surgery and I was even able to write it off for taxes!) but not because it would make me “prettier” without glasses, but because it allowed me to function better in day-to-day life. Now I can do so many things that other people with good vision take for granted. I am thankful every day for the procedure.

    I think your motives for breast reduction are good, and if you feel it is the right choice, then I say go for it!

  4. Might it be covered under insurance in your case (back pain, etc.)?

    I don’t have this problem, but i don’t wish for it either. I have a strangely (it seems, after seeing how many women feel) positive view of my body, and for that I”m lucky.

    I don’t think it is crazy, but part of me thinks I’d be too frugal (or rather, cheap?) to do it. But since I haven’t been in your shoes, it is hard to know how I’d really feel.

  5. I never noticed in your pics! You hide it well? Anyways, I totally went thru the same thing growing up. Girls on my dance team used to joke around by fitting one cup of my bra on their head…hahahaha. I totally wear two sports bras to run, too! In my early twenties, I embraced it all and now I wouldn’t change a thing. Yes, sometime I think it would be nice to wear tube tops or sundresses. But mostly, I’d just rather have curves.

    But yeah, if it causes you pain and you are uncomfortable, DO IT! If it increases the quality of your life, I think it is the best decision you could make. But P.S. I think you have a bangin’ bod in all your pics!! 🙂

    • I have the best bras – they are minimizers and while they don’t look so pretty on, they make me look much sleeker under my clothes!

  6. P.S. This is where I get my bikinis. They are pricey, but last for years and hold those bad boys up! 😉

  7. P.S. This is where I get my bikinis. They are pricey, but last for years and hold those bad boys up! 😉

  8. The women I’ve met who have had breast reduction surgery were SO FREAKING happy. There’s nothing wrong with it, and don’t beat yourself up for wanting to feel better about yourself.

  9. I thought you looked quite proportionate? Oh well my bad:( Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

    If you wanted it for this long you probably always will, so just do it.

  10. I’m with the others. I’ve not got the same problem but I have friends who do or did and that kind of back pain is no joke!

    Heck, regular back pain is awful, I would have trouble imagining trying to live with a pain that could possibly be ameliorated.

  11. I agree; if you were taking on debt, or neglecting saving for your retirement, to do this, I would think that potentially unwise, but as you clearly aren’t doing this, and this isn’t a whim by any means, you should clearly go ahead with the procedure. (I’d say that even if this was a purely cosmetic procedure, as it is something that is bothering you, but the fact that you are suffering physically makes it even more the case.) Surely that’s one of the advantages of your financial responsibility; you have the freedom to do things to improve your life, even if they cost money?

  12. Do it! Large breasts run in my family, and my grandmother and an aunt have had breast reduction surgery, and if my boobs keep growing like theirs did after having kids, you had better believe I’ll do it too. (I’m lucky in that I maxed out at a C/D, but seriously, FFF is not happening in my lifetime.)

    I spent $1,000 on laser hair removal. Talk about “pointless”! But let me tell you about how much it has improved my quality of life, and how much I haven’t regretted getting it done for one hot second. And those hairs weren’t interfering with yoga poses or giving me back pain. I also spent $4,000 on laser eye surgery, which was totally for cosmetic and quality-of-life reasons, and that’s another thing I haven’t regretted at all.

    I definitely think you should do it. Start saving for it, do some research. Your insurance might cover some of it. Maybe a flexible spending account will cover some more. Life is too short to be uncomfortable in your own body when you have the means to do something about it.

    • Did the hair removal work?

      • Yes, definitely! I have my final appointment tomorrow and will be doing a full review on my blog in the next few days, but the short version is: why did I wait so long?! (aside from saving up for it, that is!)

  13. This is really a quality of life issue. It’s more that a latte or even your car. It’s about pain.

    That said, I’m a baby about the risks of surgery — and there are a lot of risks. Me, I just bought a $200 sportsbra. But at that rate, you’re not too far off the surgery financially.

    There is no way I would do this without talking to someone who had done it with whatever doctor you plan on using. I would look for someone who is in your shoes, just a few years ahead.

    • Yeah, I have a friend whose Mom did it after she had kids. I’m worried about the effect on that, so I think I might wait a year or two and see if I should just delay the surgery until after we have kids.

  14. Oh, and your bathing suit is easy! Wish I had found it earlier. You have to look to Europe to get the right sizes.

  15. I had a friend that did it and it was probably the best thing that ever happened to her. Totally changed her life.

  16. I completely understand your swimsuit problem! I didn’t have a swimsuit that fit for like oh 10 years! BUT I found a place that sells by bra size called Figleaves (keep in mind some of the brands on the site are Europpean sizing so do research and adjust it accordingly). You should really check it out. It feels great to get a new swimsuit!!!

  17. I completely understand and say go for it. Personally, I have never had your problem…that is until I breastfed my child. Holy moly. Nothing holds those things down. Cleavage up to my neck! I have to wear two sports bras to work out. Not fun.

    Now I can sympathize with all my better endowed friends. And even though lots of moms complain about it…I don’t mind at all that mine will turn into flap jacks post nursing. Way easier to deal with then the alternative!

  18. OK I have the exact same issue, and I’ve thought about the same thing. I bloomed early and though I have a small waist and normal hips, my large chest has made me feel/look “fat” since they are so visible. And I’ve always dealt with the teasing (when I was younger) and comments/questions (even from strangers). I know exactly what you mean about some yoga poses!! 😉

    But here’s why I’m not going to get a reduction. First of all I went to Nordstrom a few years back and got fitted for a bra and realized I’ve never worn the right size. I’m actually a 32G/34F – I crammed myself into VS bras too because they won’t tell you they don’t sell your size. So I’d been wearing a 36 DD for years! Having the right bras seriously changed my appearance, confidence, and ability to wear certain clothes. Also, getting into good shape is helping. Bathing suits/bras from and sports bras from changed my life!!!

    Also the truth is I really LIKE my breasts. I don’t want to cut them up and have my body ravaged, but I also think I’d miss them, even if I could wear a strapless dress for once. A guy I dated made me realize this. When I asked him what he thought about me getting a reduction he paused and then said “All I know is, whenever you talk about your breasts, you smile.” And I realized he was right.

    • Wow, I thought my 34E was bad, but you’ve definitely got me beat!

      Right now all I wear is minimizing bras. They work great to make me look smaller, but they don’t exactly make the girls look good.

  19. Well, as everyone else is saying, I think you should do it. Of course, save up the money for it, and consult with multiple doctors. Ask around for good doctors. But if you’re in so much pain, it makes sense. Plus, while it sucks that people can be idiots, you can’t help what others say/do/think, so you might get more respect from coworkers after this.

    Oh, and that sheltered life? Me too. My mom doesn’t like talking about anything sex-related…I think she’s a little uncomfortable that my boyfriend and I live in the same house! But I’m pretty sure she gave my older sister “the talk”, then sorta forgot to tell me about those things…then remembered again for my younger sister…okay, don’t get me started, this is a bit of a weird topic for me!

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