I can’t believe this blog is two years old. I don’t think I’ve ever kept up any activity for two years, unless you count when I had to take ballet in elementary school. In honor of this momentous event, I’d like to share all of the search terms that have brought people to my humble little corner of the internet. Some will make you laugh, some will make you say “WTF” and some will just be sort of frightening.
positive things about french people (1. They make delicious crepes, 2. I like their Eiffel Tower.)
paranoid touching things three times (Uhhh…)
why are banks stupid?
anthropologie shoplifters (Because I wrote that buying discounted gift cards was more legal than shoplifting. *facepalm*)
extreme frugality (LOL)
i built this wardrobe myself (Good for you!)
why spend money on asteroids (An asteroid is a good investment, generating passive income for decades!)
what am i entitled to if i did not sign a prenup (EVERYTHING!)
asteroid can’t make it on my own (?)
i need asteroid in a sentences (How about, “Aaaah! There’s an asteroid headed right toward us!”)
what do you do if someone you know is being (being WHAT?! paranoid and touching things 3 times?)
“dog ate my finances” fake (sorry Dog, apparently they think I’ve got the dirt on you)
recent comments+”male enhancement”+blog+ (I am horrified D:)
asteroid old chocolates (ew)
lined blank pages (Apparently, if you look for weird contradictory statements, you get sent to me. Hm.)
wanton paintball game (“Wet paint oozed down his chisled pecs, just below the welt near his nipple where the paintball had struck.” Ooh baby!)
“30 days on crack” (Makes sense.)
p0rn father and daughter (I think this deserves another D: Ick.)
how to become an ingegnere (Do you mean engineer?)
scooby-doo *p0rn (THAT IS MY CHILDHOOD YOU ARE DESTROYING! D: D: D: Weirdo.)
Hopefully my readers found this list as hilarious and disturbing as I did. I look forward to writing many more posts that contain key words that will attract freaks from all walks of life. Although I think I’m going to have to change the name of my wedding entry because it seems to be attracting strange attention.
Here’s hoping ParanoidAsteroid makes it to Birthday #3!