How NOT To Leave Your Job

It’s never really surprising when you get a nasty goodbye mass email.  It’s always a certain kind of person who sends them.  For example, take a recent email that was sent out at my worksite. 

I’d only been here a few weeks before getting my first email from this guy – some comment on work processes – and I thought, “This guy sounds like a jackass.”  Subsequent dealings with him only reinforced this, with the added opinion that he was also a bit cowardly.  He wouldn’t speak up in meetings or when talking one-on-one, but he’d send out an email as soon as he got back to his desk.  They were always combative, always written sneeringly, usually contradicting whatever we’d agreed to in said meeting.  I was pretty lucky; I rarely, if ever, had to deal with him, except for being CC’d on his emails.

During my very short tenure here, he was demoted for giving those under him failing grades when other instructors gave the same people 100%’s.  Perhaps as a result of this demotion, he accepted another job with our company in another state.  Today was his last day.

He sent out a 3-PAGE EMAIL, mostly insulting his current coworkers and the people in my organization (any time he talks about engineers… and “engineers,” in every instance, is put in quotes).  My favorite passages include the following (typos are his):

During my 3-years tenure here I have upset and/or angered some of you here…I am one who will never hesitate to stand firm and demand for things to be done the right way and the best way possible… Whatever the opposing reason might be (from “it’ll take too long” to “it’ll cost too much”), I wasn’t going to compromise and if you were on the receiving end of that, well that’s just part of how I was made I guess.

It might be interesting to note here that he has been working here for 3 years and thinks he knows more about our product than the people who have been here for 30.  What’s also omitted is that his “best way” is spending several hundred thousand dollars creating documentation for programs that will soon be cancelled.

There is very little incentive to go above and beyond here and we all know it… but that’s no reason not to do the best you can for the sake of your coworkers because they are the ones you work with day in and day out, not management.

Insult your bosses!  You stay classy.

“Real engineers” can be extremely hard-headed about the dumbest things.

“If you’re reading this, I’m probably talking about you.”

Joe, I’ll never forget our wild and crazy times down at [college]!

“(Just in case you remembered to untag yourself from all those incriminating Facebook photos.)”

Marie, you may not be an engineer, but there are plenty of “engineers” here that don’t hold a candle to your knowledge and character.  I’d rather have you on my team versus some others.

“LIKE EVERYONE RECEIVING THIS EMAIL.”

Rick, I hope your job search efforts get you back home to where I know you’ll be happiest.  I also want to meet [your girlfriend]! [Other nonsensical inside jokes and rambling about setting up visits between his new work location and Texas.]

I hope Rick enjoys you sharing that he’s looking for a new job! I am also very glad that I know you guys played poker a couple times, and I too am interested to know “what’s so great about Texas.”

We are such a small industry, you guys.  Worst of all, he sent this out to people from several different companies who are major players in our industry.  Nothing like burning every bridge, except for that one with Marie.

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16 Responses

  1. I feel like bursting into a rousing chorus of “Schadenfreude.” That’s bridge-burning with a vengeance, but it sounds like he’s too dumb to realize that it might be a good idea to keep certain contacts (other than Maria). He even stated in the e-mail that he’s too dumb to work in a company where he’s anything less than the owner and final decision maker (bit abt not being able to compromise).

    Wow.

  2. Wow, that was a doozy. How passive-aggressive and totally inconsiderate of him…

  3. Wow. some people have no common sense. He could at least insult people in individual emails.

    Some “adults” still act like children and have no social skills.

  4. Honestly, this sounds like something that would happen on “The Office” or some other crazy TV show where people do idiotic things and you wonder “are there really people like that out there?!!” I guess there are.

  5. Please tell me someone sent this to his new company.

    • Actually, a coworker of mine forwarded it to his management (since it was often very clear who he was talking about). The manager has indicated that he will be passing it along.

      • I’m curious what the results of that will be…

      • Thanks for making my day. 🙂

  6. *sigh* people are so stupid sometimes.

  7. I bet it makes for some really good office discussions though!

  8. That’s absolutely wild…

    Burning bridges? More like lining each side with C4 and blowing it to kingdom come!

    The Darwin Awards should create an offshoot for professional “self-removal” from the system.

    Good news for you – one less body to climb over on your trek to the top! 😉

  9. This is … kind of inappropriately hilarious. I mean, I know it’s totally wrong but there was a tiny part of me that so badly wanted to say what I really thought of my bosses when our office shut down that I revel in the crazy when someone else does it. (Of course I wouldn’t ever, I can’t change their behavior but I can certainly control my own.) As if his day to day behavior wasn’t bad enough, this guy had to perma-nuke his own reputation. *smh*

  10. It was funny seeing this yesterday; I received someone’s leaving e-mail at work the same day. It was absolutely cringe-making, with lots of personal remarks and in-jokes about people, including a lot about someone rather shy she had a crush on. (He spent the day hiding!) The tone was meant to be positive and friendly, unlike the message you received, but actually felt really inappropriate. She doesn’t know me, so I was grateful not to be named…..It seemed worse to me given that the person leaving had only worked at the organisation for a very few months, and had spent most of that time complaining loudly about how little she was paid, and that she didn’t like her boss!

  11. WTF – unbelievable. What a douche and what an idiot!

  12. *gobsmacked* What was this guy thinking???

  13. Excellent! I’ve worked with people equally insane in the past. You always imagine that someday these people will find themselves unemployable . . .

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