I’m putting most of this behind a cut (or whatever the WordPress equivalent is called) because I swore that I wouldn’t become one of Those Girls who writes incessantly about her Special Day and forces everyone else to pretend they care.
However, the situation is kind of wigging me out, and you never know. Someone might actually find this kind of helpful. Probably not, though, since this post will involve more wanking and hand-wringing than actual constructive solutions.
So, I’m sort of a spoiled brat because my parents are kicking in for my wedding. In all fairness, without their help, I might have done a Vegas wedding or a town hall wedding. The money came attached with the knowledge that I would be disowned from the family if I denied them their right to party. We take parties very seriously in my family.
I already wrote that I’m not planning on having a frugal wedding, but I scoffed at spending $28K. Now my budget has far surpassed what I expected, and it’s embarassing. I mean, once you decide on a traditional wedding (and your damn fiance has a gigantic family) you’re sort of stuck with most of the costs, but really??
|Save The Dates (100 ppl)||$150.00|
|Invitations (100 ppl)||$300.00|
|Dress + Alterations||$1,000.00|
|Attendant Gifts – Groomsmen||$500.00|
|Attendant Gifts – Bridesmaids||$500.00|
|Attendant Gifts – kids||$300.00|
|CEI Setup Fee||$500.00|
|Music before ceremony||$600.00|
|Venue Fee (CEI)||$0.00|
|Food (100 people)||$9,702.00|
|Booze/Bartenders (95 ppl)||$2,513.70|
|Favors (100 ppl)||$300.00|
|Hotel Room 2 nights||$698.34|
|Airfare (round trip)||$800.00|
I don’t think that any of the items are too out of line with the actual cost, although it’s likely that my estimates are on the more expensive side (there’s something so thrilling about beating your budget, even if you know the numbers were slightly inflated). In a lot of the areas, you can spend less or you can spend more:
Currently, our invite list is over 100 people due to Chad’s guest list bloat problem (his mother keeps adding random cousins!). He’s insistent that most of these people will not be coming – apparently, Lancaster County, PA is not a huge draw for Jewish people – but that they must be invited for propriety’s sake. Luckily, I am merciless: my list of family members was slashed to only people who are important to me. I don’t want to play the if-I-invite-you-you-must-send-a-gift game. The problem is that we have to plan for ~100 people to show up, which means that at $75 a head for dinner and $25 a head for open bar, we’re spending $10K on people we mostly don’t even really like.
We’re looking for photographers that might save us some money. I’m loathe to do this because I truly believe that you get what you pay for with photographers (although I don’t go so far as to call it an “investment,” as all foofy photographers seem to enjoy doing). We’re still looking, and there are some promising people whose photos are better than average while not costing more than we can afford.
I have absolutely no idea how much flowers are supposed to cost, but my mother said $1000. I cannot fathom spending that much! I also cannot wrap my head around a $500 cake or $600 for some damn violins to play “Here Comes the Bride” (except not that song because I always accidentally slip into Darth Vader’s theme song when I try to hum it). But these are the things my mother tells me we need.
We have the money, I just hate to see it spent this way…
Please send me links to brides who spent $100,000 on their weddings. I need to feel less like a cliche.