I have a friend from work who is about 10 years older than me. She’s is brilliant and a great engineer. As such, she makes a lot of money. She also spends a lot of money.
In March I pushed myself to do a “no spending” month, which basically meant I didn’t buy anything personal (clothes, etc.). I made it, actually, although I guess I cheated because Chad took me out to dinner a couple of times. When I told Shelly that I was doing this (she always has grand weekend plans, but even without a no-spend month going on, I can’t afford to do all that), she actually mocked me.
I am an introvert, so if I spend a lot of time socializing, I need time to recharge by myself. There are a few people who don’t trigger this reaction, namely my sisters and Chad, but in general I need at least two hours to myself for every hour I spend socializing. This has never been a problem before.
Shelly is extremely extroverted, so she needs to be around others like I need to be alone. She is very talkative (she can go on for hours with nothing more than a few nods and laughter from me), which is very nice when I want to be social but sort of irritating if I see her too often.
And this girl spends money like no one I’ve ever seen! Every night she has plans: happy hour, movies, concerts, dinners out, etc. While I envy her energy, I wondered for a long time how she managed to do all that. One night while we were drunk, she confessed that her financial planner was having her set aside $1000 per month for savings, but that she was going to stop because she really needed the money. This was the same night she confessed that she’s making over $100K. The reason she needed the money? She kept running out before the end of the month!
I try to get her to hang out with Chad and me. We have had Wiitar Hero nights, or “let’s dress up and get drunk on wine” parties, or barbeques. During football season we’ll gorge on chips and junk food and scream at the TV. We don’t spend a lot of money, but no one has ever complained about it. We make it fun. She seems to enjoy having a captive audience, since Chad and I are not big talkers (unless you get Chad started on sports trivia), but since he and I are both introverted, we can handle her for maybe one night per weekend.
Another thing she will do that makes me uncomfortable is if I decline an invitation citing not being able to afford it, she’ll immediately offer to pay. Does anyone else know someone who does this? It’s not what I’m after. I don’t say “I can’t afford that” meaning “pay for me!” Usually it’s a “I don’t think that’s something I want to spend my money on” or “I could buy a skirt at Anthropologie – full price! – for that much money!” or “I’m feeling kind of tired and I don’t want to go anywhere with you right now and money is a convenient excuse.”
Does anyone out there know those kinds of people- ones who are disdainful of frugality and sort of hinder your plans? What do you do about those people?